🌟Small Courage Changes Life (Today's Small Courage for Tomorrow's Change Series, Part 8)

Subtitle: "A Psychological Approach to Not Avoiding Discomfort, But Gradually Challenging Yourself"

 Intro

As a nurse, I've faced many situations, but what caused me the most discomfort and fear was none other than 'expressing honest opinions.' It was particularly challenging to speak my mind in front of senior doctors or experienced head nurses. More often than not, I would stay silent, afraid of being criticized for wrong information, or simply being perceived as 'presumptuous.' This was true even when my opinion was correct and beneficial to the patient. My heart would pound, and my fingertips would grow cold – a familiar experience.

There was one time when I had an important opinion regarding a patient's condition, but I kept hesitating, missing the right moment to speak during rounds. In the end, the rounds concluded, and I was left with a lingering sense of discomfort all day, feeling that I had missed an opportunity to suggest a better treatment direction for the patient. It was then that I realized: 'Even if my answer isn't perfectly prepared, if I can't muster the courage to speak up at a critical moment, it could lead to poor outcomes for both myself and even the patient.' After that, I decided to confront my inner 'discomfort.'

I started with small attempts. During doctor's rounds, if I had questions or felt something was unclear, I would ask briefly. I also didn't hesitate to ask colleagues about things I was curious about. Sometimes, it also required the humility to admit when my thoughts were wrong. As I took small courageous steps into the 'discomfort,' I was surprised to find that the 'discomfort' was not as monumental as I had imagined; it was merely a temporary fear to overcome. This change in my attitude garnered much more support and empathy than I expected, and as 'I can do it' small successes accumulated, my confidence grew.

Today, we will discuss the courage to face 'discomfort,' which is essential for our growth and development, yet instinctively avoided by many. Through the psychological concepts of 'Exposure Therapy' and the 'Stretch Zone,' we will explore how to transform this discomfort into growth instead of fear, and fully embrace the truth that "small courage builds the 'you' of tomorrow."

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Psychological & Neuroscientific Background: 'Behavioral Courage Training' – Transforming Discomfort into Growth Energy

Our brains instinctively avoid 'discomfort.' In unexpected situations, unfamiliar environments, or places where criticism is possible, our brains send warning signals, commanding us to 'stay in a safe place.' This was an essential survival mechanism for humanity, but in modern society, this instinct can sometimes become an obstacle to growth.

1. The Vicious Cycle of Anxiety and Avoidance: 'The More You Avoid Discomfort, The Bigger It Grows'

A concept often used in psychology to explain anxiety disorders is 'Avoidance Behavior.' Avoiding situations or objects that trigger anxiety or fear brings temporary relief, but in the long term, that fear is reinforced. The brain mistakenly learns, 'It's safe because I avoided it,' and learns to avoid similar situations again in the future. Thus, we become trapped in a vicious cycle of 'discomfort → avoidance → anxiety reinforcement.'

2. The Core of Behavioral Courage Training: Exposure Therapy and the Stretch Zone

• Exposure Therapy: One of the core techniques in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), this method involves intentionally and gradually exposing oneself to situations or objects that trigger fear. The key is to avoid escaping from the fear and, through 'safely staying in the situation,' teach the brain not to perceive that stimulus as threatening anymore.
• Stretch Zone: This refers to the area between our everyday comfortable 'Comfort Zone' and the 'Panic Zone,'

  

  행동 용기 훈련의 핵심

  
   where extreme anxiety makes us unable to do anything. The stretch zone is the intermediate space—neither too comfortable nor too difficult—that brings a slight discomfort and tension but simultaneously presents an optimal state for learning and growth. Behavioral Courage Training is the process of consciously operating in this stretch zone and gradually expanding our comfort zone.

3. The Effects of Behavioral Courage Training from a Neuroscientific Perspective

• Reduced Amygdala Activity and Re-learning: 'Exposure Therapy' gradually calms the overreaction of the amygdala, the brain region responsible for fear. When experiences of confronting fear in non-threatening situations and overcoming them are repeated, the amygdala learns new information, 'this is safe,' which weakens the fear response.
• Prefrontal Cortex Strengthening: The process of making rational judgments and acting in fearful situations activates the prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex plays a crucial role in regulating emotions, re-evaluating situations, and developing problem-solving strategies. Cognitively managing stress through gradual exposure strengthens prefrontal cortex function.
• Brain Circuit Reorganization Through Neuroplasticity: The brain has an astonishing ability to change with experience. When experiences of confronting discomfort instead of avoiding it are repeated, existing neural circuits related to fear weaken, and new neural circuits related to challenge and learning strengthen. In other words, the more courageously you act, the more 'courageous' your brain becomes.
• Dopamine Reward System Activation: Every time you take small courageous steps to overcome discomfort and succeed, your brain releases dopamine. This dopamine induces positive emotions and motivates you to repeat the action. That is, courageous behavior itself provides a positive reward to the brain, supplying energy for bigger challenges.
• Enhanced Self-Efficacy: According to Albert Bandura's Self-Efficacy Theory, the stronger one's belief in successfully performing a specific task, the better their actual performance. Successfully completing small challenges through exposure training maximizes 'I can do it' self-efficacy, forming a foundation for greater courage.

In conclusion, Behavioral Courage Training is not merely about 'enduring.' It is a strategic process that, by understanding the brain's operating principles and through gradual exposure and conscious challenges, re-wires fear circuits and strengthens growth and reward circuits. The truth that "small courage builds the 'you' of tomorrow" is, therefore, a psychological and scientific principle for transitioning the brain into growth mode and maximizing potential through courageous actions.

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🌱 Practical Tips: 5 Behavioral Guidelines for Cultivating 'Small Courage'

Now, let's explore concrete behavioral tips for transforming discomfort into a stepping stone for growth.

1. Create a 'Discomfort History': Starting with Identifying the Object of Fear

• Practice: Think specifically about situations, actions, or people that cause you discomfort or mild anxiety, and make a list. Then, rank them from the smallest to the largest discomfort.
• Example (as a nurse):
  1. Initiating casual conversation with colleagues during lunchtime.
  2. Asking about new procedure manuals.
  3. Briefly sharing opinions during a conference.
  4. Calmly explaining things to an agitated guardian.
  5. Reporting a patient's status to a doctor and adding my opinion.
• Elaboration: Clarifying the object of fear is the first step. Vague fears can excessively activate the brain's amygdala, but a concrete list helps the prefrontal cortex plan for problem-solving. Visualizing 'challenge potential' by listing items from smallest to largest helps.

2. Take 'Mini Courage': Taking the First Step in the Stretch Zone

• Practice: Start with the smallest level of discomfort from your 'discomfort history.' Then, break that discomfort down into an action 'so small you cannot fail.' This is about taking the first step in the 'stretch zone,' slightly outside your comfort zone. Psychologist Albert Ellis famously said, "Anxiety only disappears through action."
• Example (as a nurse):
  • (Goal: Initiate casual conversation with colleagues) → "After lunch, sit next to a colleague, remain silent for 5 seconds, then say, 'Today's lunch was delicious.'"
  • (Goal: Offer opinion on ward improvements) → "Request a private meeting with the head nurse to discuss improvements."
• Elaboration: The important thing is not perfect success, but 'starting.' When even a tiny act of courage is put into action, the brain releases dopamine, providing positive feedback. This serves as an energy source for the next challenge and builds a foundation for developing 'I can do it' self-efficacy.

3. Practice 'Staying in Discomfort': Anxiety Will Subside

• Practice: If you bravely face an uncomfortable situation, instead of immediately fleeing or avoiding it, intentionally practice staying in that discomfort for a while. During this time, it's good to use mindfulness techniques like deep breathing or focusing on your five senses.
• Example (as a nurse): Even if your heart races while speaking your opinion in front of a doctor, don't give up immediately. Instead, quietly tell yourself, 'Ah, my heart is racing now. It's okay,' and take a breath for 3 seconds.
• Elaboration: Anxiety is like a wave that naturally subsides after reaching its peak. Through the experience of safely staying in discomfort, the brain learns that the situation is not an actual threat, and the amygdala's overreaction gradually diminishes.

4. Create a 'Challenge Graph': Visualize Progress and Reinforce with Self-Reward

• Practice: Create a table or graph of your 'discomfort history,' mark each successful experience of taking small courage (keep a success journal), and celebrate yourself.
• Example: "Greeted colleagues first today (✓)", "Asked a doctor I hadn't met before (✓)" / Praise yourself by saying, "Well done, me!" or reward yourself with a favorite cup of coffee.
• Elaboration: Visual progress shows you how much you've grown, boosting self-efficacy and providing continuous motivation. Celebrating small successes and self-praise activates the brain's dopamine system, further reinforcing courageous behavior. This is not just a mood uplift but a strategy to strengthen the brain's reward memory.

5. 'It's Okay to Fail' Reframing: Continuous Challenge with Flexible Thinking

• Practice: Even if you bravely took action and the outcome was not ideal, or you failed, do not criticize yourself. Instead, record what you learned, just like in a 'failure journal,' and plan to try again. (Refer to "Part 5: Reframing Failure into Growth".)
• Example: When you gave an opinion to the head nurse and received an unexpected reaction, instead of thinking, 'I made a mistake again,' think, 'Ah, in this situation, it would be better to say it this way. I'll try that next time.'
• Elaboration: An attitude of not fearing failure is crucial for enabling continuous challenge. The brain has the capacity to learn and grow from failure, and flexible thinking allows us to perceive failure not as a setback but as valuable data, ultimately bringing us closer to success.

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Picture by FREEPIK

💬 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1: I'm too scared to take courage, and I hesitate for fear of failure.

A1: That feeling is perfectly natural. Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting despite fear. The important thing is not to take a perfectly big courageous step, but to start with courage 'so small you cannot fail.' If you have to climb 100 stairs, start by putting your foot on the first one. That small beginning is the first step to overcoming fear.

Q2: Can small courage truly be powerful enough to change one's life?

A2: Yes, absolutely! Big life changes are usually not the result of a single dramatic event but a steady accumulation of small changes. For instance, the small courage of memorizing new foreign language words for 5 minutes each day can lead to fluency years later. When small acts of courage are repeated, our brain structure itself changes, and the 'muscle of courage' strengthens, making us naturally embrace bigger challenges.

Q3: Is it really necessary to step out of the 'comfort zone'? I just want to live comfortably.

A3: The 'comfort zone' certainly provides us with security and ease. However, growth occurs outside the comfort zone. Staying only within your comfort zone means missing opportunities to learn new things or unleash your potential. The stretch zone brings a little discomfort, but it is an essential area for learning new skills, solving problems, fostering creativity, and ultimately boosting self-efficacy. While complete comfort might not be possible, enduring a certain level of discomfort is a worthwhile trade-off for a life of continuous growth and development.

Q4: How should I deal with criticism or failure after taking a courageous action?

A4: Courageous actions do not always lead to success. Criticism or failure can occur. At such times, the key is to focus on the 'process' and 'intention,' not the 'outcome.' Reflect on 'why did I take this courage?' and 'what did I learn?' It is also crucial to practice self-compassion. Console yourself by thinking, "I've become wiser through this experience," and use it as groundwork for your next challenge.

Q5: What should I do when courage training feels like 'forcing myself'?

A5: If courage training feels like 'forcing yourself,' check two things. First, is the 'mini courage' still too big? You might need to break it down into even smaller, impossible-to-fail steps. Second, are you lacking purpose or intrinsic motivation—the 'why' behind taking this courage? It's important to find small acts of courage that connect with your ultimate values or vision. The goal is to make it a 'voluntary small challenge,' not a forced action.

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🌟 Words for Your Action Practice

"Discomfort will try to hold you back. But remember. All great achievements began with small courage. Today, take a step towards that place where your heart subtly flutters. Today's small courage will change the 'you' of tomorrow. Fear doesn't disappear; it gets familiarized."

🌷 Concluding Remarks

Today, we learned that 'discomfort,' which we instinctively tried to avoid, can actually be the most powerful engine for our growth. Through the psychological concepts of 'Exposure Therapy' and the 'Stretch Zone,' we explored why and how to shed the veil of fear and move forward with small courageous actions. The courage to step forward without fear of failure—this courage is not a grand decision, but a quiet resolve that says, "Let's try again today" when you wake up in the morning. That is the magic key to unlocking your potential and transforming your tomorrow. We cheer you on for a life filled with courageous challenges and brilliant growth!

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(이 글은 "📘작은 용기가 인생을 바꾼다(내일을 바꾸는 오늘의 작은 용기 시리즈 8편)의 영어버전 글입니다. 원본은 아래 링크를 참고해주세요.)

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📘8편.작은 용기가 인생을 바꾼다(내일을 바꾸는 오늘의 작은 용기 시리즈 )