🌟Hearts Less Lonely When Together(Catching Your Breath Series, Part 7.)

The Power Derived from Connection with Others

  Introduction

In a world where everything changes so rapidly, we often feel a sense of loneliness, as if we are isolated. I, too, have felt this way. Beneath the title of a professional, I thought I was silently doing my best in my role, but at times I found myself exhausted under heavy responsibilities and unseen pressures. During those times, I unconsciously fell into the misconception, 'Am I the only one struggling in this world?'

But what lifted me up each time wasn't some grand success or goal achievement. It was the unexpected warm gaze of a colleague, a silent word of comfort, or the gentle voice of a friend asking about me, even from afar. A simple "You worked hard today," from a colleague at the end of the shift felt like a huge comfort embracing my shoulders, and a friend's "Are you okay?" in a long-awaited phone call gently opened my tightly closed heart.

I finally realized how much power there is in the simple fact that 'someone is by my side,' and that this connection can share the burdens I couldn't bear alone. Like refreshing rain on parched land, that warm connection, moistening my weary heart, often gave me the strength to move forward again.

This article is about how 'connection with others,' which we might have taken for granted, plays an essential role in our mental health and happiness, and how we can strengthen those precious relationships. 'Hearts Less Lonely When Together,' let's explore that power with me now.

Picture by FREEPIK

Psychological & Neuroscientific Background: The Healing Power of Social Support and Relationships

As the saying goes, humans are social animals; we grow and live within relationships with others from birth. Social Support, which arises from these relationships, profoundly impacts our psychological and physical health. Social support refers to the help, security, or sense of belonging we can receive from others when facing difficulties. It can manifest in various forms, including family, friends, colleagues, and community members.

Psychological research shows that people with strong social support networks experience less stress, have a lower likelihood of suffering from depression or anxiety disorders, and report significantly higher overall life satisfaction compared to those without such networks. This is not merely due to material assistance but because emotional support, empathy, and the sense of belonging themselves provide immense stability. When we feel understood and accepted by others, we strengthen our inner resilience and cope better with adversity. The 75-year Harvard Study of Adult Development also concluded that good relationships, not money or fame, were the greatest predictors of happiness and health.

In the field of neuroscience, the power of relationships is also clearly demonstrated. Intimate interactions with loved ones activate the brain's reward centers and promote the secretion of 'bonding hormones' like Oxytocin. Oxytocin plays a crucial role in reducing stress, alleviating anxiety, and fostering trust and attachment towards others. Receiving support from others during difficult times reduces amygdala activity (responsible for anxiety) and activates the prefrontal cortex, enhancing stress coping abilities. There's even research suggesting that the simple act of holding hands can stabilize heart rate and reduce pain perception.

In essence, when we feel connected to someone and experience security and belonging, our brains physiologically experience true healing and happiness. While isolation triggers a stress response in the brain, warm connections are like a 'medicine for the mind,' aiding in nervous system stability and recovery.

Therefore, both psychology and neuroscience unequivocally state that connection with others is not merely about alleviating loneliness; it is an essential factor for preserving our mental health and enriching our lives.

Practical Tips: Protecting Your Heart Through Relationships 🤝

You don't need to cultivate complex relationships. With just small, warm words and actions, we can strengthen our sense of connection with the precious people around us.

1. Listen with Sincere Attentiveness and Empathy: When someone speaks, put your phone down and fully concentrate on them. Rather than offering advice or judgment first, it's crucial to acknowledge their emotions as they are with empathetic expressions like, "Ah, that's what happened," "You must have had a really hard time," or "I understand how you feel." This sends a powerful message that 'I am listening to your story, and I am trying to understand you.'
2. Express Small Comforts and Gratitude: It doesn't have to be grand expressions. Short but sincere words like, "You worked really hard today," "You gave me strength," or "Thank you for being with me" can provide great solace and vitality to the listener. Words are the most powerful tool for conveying emotions.
3. Regularly Check In: Even amidst a busy daily life, sending a simple message like "How are you doing these days?" or making a phone call to someone you care about creates a strong sense of connection. Send a short check-in message to a close person once a day. Consistent attention is a small effort that solidifies relationships. It's okay if there's nothing special happening. Just knowing you're remembered can be a huge source of strength for others.
4. Open Your Heart and Share Honestly: A one-sided relationship cannot last long. Try to engage in genuine communication by openly sharing your emotions and vulnerabilities, including your joys, sorrows, anxieties, and worries. Through the process of opening up and sharing, we can build deeper trust and connection. When you bravely show 'your true self,' the relationship grows to another level. When you feel exhausted, instead of trying to endure it alone, practice saying, "I'm having a tough time."
5. Create Small Moments Together: Grand commitments are not necessary. Simply sharing a meal, having a cup of coffee, taking a short walk, or just existing in the same space and spending time together allows us to positively influence each other. The important thing is the conscious effort to create 'togetherness.' (Direct interactions often have a greater impact on recovery than calls or messages.)

Picture by FREEPIK

Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1: If I feel a lack of social support, where should I start?

A1: First, reflect on who you want to connect with and in what kind of relationships. Then, reach out to an old friend or start engaging with people naturally through new hobbies or activities. Begin with small, low-pressure interactions.

Q2: Can I receive social support from relationships that are not intimate?

A2: Yes, of course. Social support isn't exclusively provided by your closest friends or family. In non-intimate relationships like colleagues, neighbors, or club members, you can exchange various forms of support, such as providing necessary information or expressing emotional empathy.

Q3: How can I effectively provide social support to others?

A3: It's important to carefully observe what the other person needs and truly listen with empathy to their story. Sometimes, a warm ear is more helpful than advice. Respect the other person's opinions and approach them with a non-judgmental attitude.

Q4: Can online relationships also serve as meaningful social support?

A4: Yes, certainly. Especially for people who are geographically distant or share specific interests, relationships through online communities or social media can be crucial sources of social support. However, they might not offer the same depth of support as offline relationships, so it's good to balance online and offline connections.

Q5: I enjoy spending time alone. Is it still necessary to connect with others?

A5: Enjoying and recharging during alone time is very important. However, as humans are social beings, occasionally deriving energy from healthy connections with others is necessary. While respecting your need for solitude, consciously interacting with others from time to time to experience emotional richness is beneficial for long-term mental health. Balance is key.

🌷 A Word of Comfort for You: "You Are Never Alone."

"The courage to stand alone is just as precious as the courage to lean on others. When someone listens to your story and offers a small word of comfort, we gain a greater strength than what we can find alone. You are never alone. Somewhere in this world, there are people who support and cheer for you."

(이 글은 '마음의 숨 고르기 시리즈 7편: 함께라서 덜 외로운 마음'의 영어 번역글입니다.)

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🫂 마음의 숨 고르기 시리즈 7편: 함께라서 덜 외로운 마음