🌟Letting Go of Thoughts That Burden Your Mind( Catching Your Breath Series, Part 2)

Letting Go of Thoughts: 'Thoughts' are Passing Clouds in the Sky, 'You' are the Sky

"Lately, my mind has been so cluttered with thoughts that I can't focus on anything." "I keep replaying past mistakes, and it's tormenting me." "I constantly worry about future events that haven't even happened yet."

These are worries I often encounter from patients, colleagues, and at times, even myself. I, too, often find that after arriving home from work, intending to relax, my thoughts spiral in the quiet space. Today, minor mistakes I made at work, a colleague's thoughtless remark, vague worries about potential future events—they all rise like clouds, quickly covering the sky of my mind, pressing heavily upon me.

Some nights, anxiety overwhelms me, leaving me sleepless. Other days, I become overly sensitive about trivial matters and find myself self-blaming. "Why do I always think like this?", "Can't I stop these negative thoughts?" Self-reproach combines with a sense of frustration. Thoughts are truly mysterious. They seem to evade you more when you try to grasp them and grow larger when you try to avoid them, like a shadow.

Then, a sentence from an old psychology book came to mind: "You are not the cloud; you are the sky."

This phrase means that "thoughts are merely clouds floating in the sky, and I am the vast, blue sky embracing those clouds." Clouds constantly change shape and drift away, but the sky always remains, blue and expansive, in its place. Our minds are much the same. Countless thoughts constantly arise and disappear, but our fundamental 'mind,' which holds those thoughts, is always like a calm and peaceful sky.

Learning how to observe thoughts without getting swept away by them, letting them naturally flow by – this is the core of our second session in the 'Catching Your Breath' series. I wish to share with you the psychological wisdom that has genuinely helped me in my own life.

Picture by FREEPIK

Psychological & Neuroscientific Background: The Power of Metacognition to Not Be Swayed by Thoughts

Our brains generate tens of thousands of thoughts each day. Even while we sleep, the brain is ceaselessly active. One reason we experience anxiety or obsession is that we often mistake thoughts for facts. The problem arises when we blindly believe and react to these thoughts as if they were 'reality' or 'who 'we' truly are'. In cognitive psychology, this phenomenon is called Cognitive Fusion. It refers to a state where our thoughts and our 'self' merge, causing us to be dominated by our thoughts.

So, how can we break free from this fused state? By utilizing Metacognition. Metacognition literally means 'thinking about thinking' – it's the ability to objectively observe and understand our own thought processes. Instead of diving directly into thoughts and getting lost, it means stepping back and observing, "Ah, I am having this thought right now."

From a neuroscientific perspective:

• Prefrontal Cortex Activation: Metacognition is a higher-order cognitive function primarily involving the brain's prefrontal cortex. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for decision-making, planning, and emotional regulation, playing a role in judging and perceiving thoughts.
• Neuroplasticity Changes: Consistent mindfulness practice, especially the training to objectively observe thoughts, brings positive changes to the brain's structure and function. The activity of the amygdala (responsible for stress responses) decreases, while the connectivity of the prefrontal cortex (responsible for emotional regulation and cognitive functions) is enhanced.
• Breaking the Thought-Emotion Chain: When negative thoughts arise, they tend to trigger negative emotions, which in turn can reinforce those negative thoughts, creating a vicious cycle. However, the practice of observing thoughts without being swayed by them can break this chain, preventing emotions from escalating further.

In conclusion, while thoughts are a natural brain activity that we cannot always consciously control, how we react to those thoughts is something we can choose. The practice of separating ourselves from our thoughts and observing them—that is, exercising metacognition—is truly the key to finding genuine serenity by releasing thoughts that burden our minds.

Practical Tips: Metacognition Practice

Here are specific exercises to help you release thoughts that weigh down your mind. You can incorporate these practices periodically throughout your day, not just during formal meditation.

1. Notice: When negative or repetitive worrisome thoughts arise, quickly acknowledge, "Ah, I am having this thought right now." Instead of getting swept away by the thought, observe it from a step back.
2. Labeling: Give the arising thought a simple label, such as "worry," "anxiety," "future concern," "past regret," or "judgment." This helps create distance between the thought and your 'self.' For instance, instead of saying "I am anxious right now," try telling yourself, "I am having the thought that I am anxious right now."
3. Let Go: Imagine the labeled thought as a cloud drifting across the sky, or a leaf floating down a river. Don't try to forcibly hold onto it or push it away; simply allow it to naturally dissipate.

Picture by FREEPIK

🙋 Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)

Q1: It feels like 'thinking about thoughts' just creates more thoughts, making things more complicated. What should I do?

A1: That's an excellent question! Initially, 'thinking about thinking' can indeed feel like just another thought. The key is non-judgmental observation. Try to stop additional judgments like 'Is this thought right?' or 'Why do I think this way?' Instead, practice objectively recognizing, "Ah, I am currently having the thought that my thoughts are getting complicated." This is a natural part of metacognition training, and it will gradually become easier with consistent practice.

Q2: Some negative thoughts are so intense that I can't possibly just let them go. What should I do then?

A2: There are indeed some powerful thoughts that are extremely difficult to manage. In such cases, rather than trying to force them away, it can be helpful to practice allowing those thoughts some space for a moment. For example, acknowledge, "Such intense negative thoughts exist within me right now," and instead of resisting or pushing them away, try to simply 'accompany' them for a while. If you're feeling overwhelmed, taking a moment to calm yourself with deep breaths is paramount. Seeking professional counseling is also a good option if you find it too challenging alone.

Q3: I keep replaying a mistake I made at work, and it's distressing me. What can I do?

A3: In such moments, label it: "I am having the thought of recalling a mistake." This brief labeling alone can help your mind step back. Don't try to forcibly stop the thought; instead, count your breaths and focus on your breathing. The thought will naturally begin to fade.

Q4: Are there immediate methods I can use when I suddenly get caught up in negative thoughts during daily life?

A4: Yes, there are a few simple methods. First, focus on your breath. Take three deep breaths in and out to bring yourself back to the 'here and now.' Second, focus on your five senses. Consciously try to find five things you can see, four things you can hear, three things you can feel, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. Third, quickly apply the three-step practice mentioned above: 'Notice, Labeling, and Let Go.'

Q5: Isn't letting go of thoughts essentially ignoring problems?

A5: No, it's not. 'Practicing letting go of thoughts' is about releasing unproductive worries or past obsessions that hinder problem-solving, to focus on the present and gain energy for addressing issues. It's not ignoring problems, but rather creating psychological space to view them more clearly and calmly. If necessary, it's good to later set aside a specific 'time to process thoughts' and actively explore problem-solving strategies.

A Word of Comfort for You: "You Are Always the Sky."

"You are not the cloud of 'thought.' You are the tranquil, vast 'sky' that embraces those thoughts. Today, too, like clouds freely drifting across that wide sky, allow your thoughts to pass."

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(이 글은 '마음의 숨 고르기 시리즈 2편. 마음을 무겁게 하는 생각 내려놓기'의 영어 버전입니다.)

원본: https://kiheo.tistory.com/129 

☁️ 마음의 숨 고르기 시리즈 2편: 마음을 무겁게 하는 생각 내려놓기